“Subcommunication”

There are a lot of little things that go on between the lines when we “harmlessly” chat away. Can you read the Subcommunication? Do you know what’s really being said? If you do, then congrats… because you’ll never have a problem with your relationships… if not… then read on:

Another Article for Axe Body Spray (directed at men):

Subcommunication

There is usually a hidden message in most conversation. You can pick up on it if you ask yourself, “Why is this person really saying this to me?” If someone is emotional, usually the outer message is not really that important.

For example:

“Why didn’t you call me after you got off work?” translates to, “I feel like you don’t think about me as much as I think about you.”

“I feel like I hardly know you,” translates to, “Please be comfortable enough to express your feelings and be vulnerable around me so I can open up to you, too”

It’s our job to understand what women are really saying and address the real issue instead of getting caught up in the surface conversation. You don’t want to call her out and tell her what her real issue is. You should just make her feel better in the area that she really needs it instead of trying to make sense of what she is saying on the surface.

Sometimes you’ll need to hear a message, decode it, find an answer, encode it again, and say it back to her. It can get a bit complicated but let’s be honest, nothing is more important than knowing how to make your woman happy. This is a skill that you’ll use for the rest of your life.

What To Do:
Recognize these different subcommunications:

Secret Cries For Affection:

If you hear a bunch of complaining out of nowhere, you’re likely looking at a cry for some affection. Instead of buying into negative things that have happened throughout the day and making her feel worse, just wrap your arms around her and let her feel better.

Boosting Self Esteem:

If she pushes you away when you give other girls attention or insults other girls that you know (or even you) for no apparent reason, it’s probably because she feels that you are more attracted to other girls instead of her and she needs you to make her feel beautiful so she knows that she is you’re number one priority, even though you are talking to other girls. Answer this with a “Don’t worry baby…” type of response. Make her feel beautiful and safe. She needs it.

Calls For Your Manhood:

If you are the subject of a series of seemingly unsolicited power struggles, it’s likely that she’s asking you to step up and make her feel more comfortable with you leading. You’ve probably accidentally taken a passive and nurturing role temporarily. No matter the reasons why this happened, you’ll have to switch back and play your provider/protector role again. Start organizing events yourself and let her stay away from planning and enjoy her emotions and get back to her preferred role as a nurturer.

Need For Emotional Connection:

If she starts having very deep conversations with friends of yours or hers and not sharing rapport with you, you’re likely not giving her enough emotional security. You’re going to need to open up and express emotion and allow yourself to be vulnerable around her. Don’t lose control of your emotions; just show her that you trust her to see your emotions.

Sexual Validation:

If you haven’t slept with a girl in a while or if you haven’t really been paying attention to her needs as much as you should when you’re in the bedroom, you may notice that she’s flirting with a lot more men than you remember. It’s easier for her to think that there is something wrong with you instead of asking herself if she isn’t sexually appealing. This is not a direct attack or act of disrespect toward you, so don’t take it that way. Tell her that attempting to attract other guys will only make the problem worse and then tend to her a little more in the bedroom from then on. You’ll probably have to fix this problem several times throughout your relationships but don’t mistake it for a lack of interest on her part. It’s usually a lack of attention to detail on yours.

What Not To Do:
Don’t try to have the conversation on the surface. If you recognize that the conversation or complaint that someone has isn’t logical or doesn’t really make any sense, immediately search down to see what the real problem is and address that instead of arguing that you are right and they are wrong.

Don’t stop until you get the situation handled. Get down to the root and the real issue every time and don’t settle for less than perfect. If an issue gets to be out of control, it will be your fault for not handling it earlier.